Alarming News

August 31, 2005

The Dating Game (by guest blogger Dorian Davis)

The stigma associated with gays in the Republican Party becomes particularly problematic when it comes to relationships with gay Democrats. The vemon is pervasive on Internet dating sites, such as www.friendster.com and www.myspace.com, where gay profiles are laced with acidic afronts to Republicans, from the guy who dislikes “red states,” to the guy who clarifies in his “Who I Want to Meet” section that he is “not a Republican.” I’ve been stung by that vemon as well, in a more overt manner, by a guy who stood me up after perusing my website, www.doriandavis.com, and who left me waiting at the subway station at Broadway and Houston Street.

I’ve visited a few right-wing dating sites since then and discovered that–unfortunately–the sites labeling themselves as “conservative,” such as www.conservativematch.com and www.conservativematchmaker.com, are exclusive of gay Republicans in a different way: they make no accommodation for same-sex searches on their personals pages, nor do they include specifics about a user’s sexual orientation. There is an underlying assumption that conservative men want to be matched with conservative women, and that conservative women want to be matched with conservative men. The creators of those websites–intentionally or unintentionally–are imposing their viewpoints on appropriate sexuality, and they are excluding the gay Republican.

That oversight is corrected by another popular site, www.republicansingles.com, that provides a space in its search engine in which a user can indicate a preference for same-sex partners. The seemingly-unimportant difference between www.conservativematch.com and www.republicansingles.com is signal of a major differentiation between two branches of the Republican Party, but it’s also signal of a major differentiation between the Democratic Party and the Republican Party: no where else–not on liberal dating sites, nor on conservative dating sites–can a gay Republican find, nor even search for, his appropriate match. In the end, it’s here–at www.republicansingles.com–that gays can finally “come out” of the intellectual–and the virtual–closet.