Alarming News

December 24, 2009

Five and a half weeks left!

Things I will do when I am no longer pregnant:

1.  Eat sushi every single day.  Ok, fine, not every single day but easily every other day.  If I’ve learned anything during the last 34+ weeks of my life it’s that you never want anything so badly as that which you can’t have.  And while it’s a common misconception that sushi isn’t allowed at all, it actually is allowed in small quantities and the frequency with which I’ve been enjoying it is just not working for me.  Having one piece of tuna once a month is almost worse than not having it at all.  IC has promised to take me to my favorite sushi place like every weekend, and also to let me order from all of our local sushi spots which have been forbidden to me for so long.

2.  I’m not a big drinker, though I do enjoy a tipple every now and again, and I have been dying for a nice, strong drink.  A martini.  A really cold one.  Or, like six mojitos.  When I mention this to people they tell me that it’s ok to enjoy a glass of wine fairly often (once or twice a week seems to be consensus) while pregnant.  Yeah, no thanks.  No interest in wine.  Bring on the booze.

3. I will go ice-skating.  The last time I went ice-skating I was something like 12 years old.  But, as I note in item 1, I badly want to do all the things I currently can’t.  I’m sure pregnant women can and do ice-skate but not when they’re married to the super-overprotective IC who watches me like a hawk and yells at me for not waiting for him to help me out of cars.  Yes, it’s adorable, most of the time.

4.  I will wear these shoes, A LOT.  I actually bought a few pairs of really cute shoes at the start of my pregnancy, but only those at the first link can pretty much instantly kill me.  The heel is higher than I’d normally wear even when not with child and I’ve been taking them out of the closet and looking at them longingly.  I can’t even wear them around the apartment, they’re that deadly.  On a similar note, I can’t wait to wear jeans, pants that aren’t leggings, or any clothes that close around my stomach.  It’s not even that these clothes don’t currently fit, it’s that the baby seriously freaks out and starts kicking like mad whenever I put on even maternity pants.  She’s going to be a handful, that one.

5.  I will sleep.  Oh, I hear all you parents.  Ha ha.  Ho ho.  The girl thinks she’ll get some sleep after the baby is born.  Hilarious!  I’m almost 35 weeks right now and I haven’t slept well since around week 28.  I’m not even that big, yet massively uncomfortable.  And the baby will have two very eager grandmas, a super excited aunt, two each of mildly interested uncles and grandfathers and, well, an already-obsessed-with-her father, all of whom swear they’ll let me get some sleep if I just don’t die from exhaustion before this is all over.

I’m still hoping for an early delivery but my doctor told me this week that that’s extremely unlikely and that I should not be getting my hopes up.  Too late, lady, hopes are already wayyyy up.  But whatever, just have the booze, shoes, sleep, etc. waiting for me on the other side.

UPDATE: The video at the link is a must-see, especially for us coddled Americans.

Posted by Karol at 04:59 PM |

A super DUPER DUPER excited aunt!!
and no offense doc, but you dont know what you’re talking about..I already called January 18th. and I’m sticking to it!
I mean come on, she said you’re having a boy, what does she know?

Posted by: SIL at December 24, 2009 at 5:26 pm

Hahaha, that’s true. She said TWICE that I was having a boy. But she did say that was only 90% definite. She seemed pretty 100% definite this week that babies are almost never born early. But here’s hoping!

Posted by: Karol at December 24, 2009 at 5:28 pm

“I will sleep.”

No, no, you won’t. And it has nothing to do with willing helpers. As a father of four, the mother of my children could not deny her genetic/natural/etc tendencies. Bottle-feeding won’t make all that much difference either, near as I recall.

The good news is the first few weeks, newborns generally sleep a lot. Take advantage of it. As any soldier/sailor/marine can tell you–never pass up a chance to eat or sleep. You never know what’s down the road.

Anyway, good luck, congrats, and Merry Christmas.

Posted by: LAG at December 24, 2009 at 5:28 pm

uh karol..newsflash you’re not having a baby. you’re having a ZEBRA. and those are almost always born early :)

Posted by: SIL at December 24, 2009 at 5:41 pm

I have been eating tuna non-stop since gabby was born. Stock up on the spicy mayo now:)

I missed my red wine…my first post gabs Rioja was heavenly.

Ha Ha sleep…really…Ha Ha

I too thought I would be blessed with an early delivery…I was due May 1st and delivered April 30 @ 8:10 pm but I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Posted by: Lisa at December 24, 2009 at 6:09 pm

First, I have to say while I’m reading this post, Pandora plays “a boy for you and a girl for me…” – yes, really, just like that, at random.

All that talk about sushi and vodka- are you planning to breastfeed at all? Haha x 3.
And I won’t even say anything about sleep: I know you’re under hormonal delusion, and it’s useless to argue.

The shoes are gorgeous, though…but I like the ones @last link better

[remember, my bet was on 25th!]

Posted by: Tatyana at December 24, 2009 at 6:18 pm

“She’s going to be a handful, that one.”

Like mother, like daughter. Apple and the tree, etc.


Posted by: chsw at December 24, 2009 at 7:13 pm

I was going to mention the breastfeeding bit. Nothing like having a friend explain why she had basically milked herself before coming to a rehearsal dinner to educate me on that one.

Yeah, sleep? Really? You sure you’re the oldest child? Just sayin’.

Posted by: James at December 24, 2009 at 7:40 pm

I can’t find it now, but a blog pal called TulipGirl posted a photo of herself just after delivering her baby, cradling the boy in one arm and holding a beer in the other. (Some nutrient in beer is supposed to boost milk production.)

Posted by: Michael Bates at December 25, 2009 at 1:37 am

I also desperately wanted to deliver early with my daughter. My naturopath told me to drink Raspberry Leaf and Stinging Nettle tea to get my ‘membranes ready’. Steeped for 10 minutes and four hours later labour started (2 weeks early, my first baby!). So there you go, a whole lot of unsolicited advice.
Good luck!

Posted by: Rebecca at December 25, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Michael, I’ve heard the beer thing before, any truth to that?

Rebecca, I have added that tea to my shopping list. I expect to start guzzling it in 1-2 weeks.

Posted by: Karol at December 25, 2009 at 9:45 pm

I forgot to add “sleep on my back” and “wear my engagement ring and wedding band” on this list.

Posted by: Karol at December 25, 2009 at 9:45 pm

They are two separate teas and make sure to get Raspberry Leaf (the leaf is apparently key).

Posted by: Rebecca at December 26, 2009 at 11:38 am

I’ve ordered the Raspberry Leaf. Here’s hoping.

Posted by: Karol at December 26, 2009 at 3:29 pm

A friend of mine said her midwife specifically recommended Guinness for lactation.

Posted by: Mark Poling at December 26, 2009 at 10:29 pm
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