I don’t think Betty is evil for leaving him. I just get annoyed that she’s acting like an innocent (and I’m not talking about her few indiscretions). Sure, finding out your husband is not who he says he is would be shocking, but she has know for years that he is a liar and a cheat…she just didn’t know the extent of it. Now she’s shocked. Frankly I think it’s worse that she tolerated the infidelity. If she’s went along with that, why not go along with the lies about his past? Why, because she’s using that as an excuse to leave him for the other guy. It’s fine that she leaves him, she should, but I get annoyed at her acting like the complete martyr in all this.

I don’t see her really wanting to be with Henry. I think it’s more that she’s truly had it with Don and here is another option. I think back to that scene where she’s laying on the bed after finding everything and Don calls. He asks how she’s doing and she responds “how am I doing? How am I doing?” and you’re sure she’s going to berate him but then she just says “I’m not feeling well.” She is not used to having to yell at her husband, or confront him about his lies, or generally be anything other than the perfect wife. She has just reached her end point and Henry happens to be there.

Just randomly read this in a British paper, sums up what I mean about Betty having to play dumb (http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article2602592.ece):

“Last week I went to dinner with an eligible doctor. As we were finishing the main course, I struck up conversation with the owner (Marco) in Italian – I speak five languages. My date nearly choked on his linguini and spent the rest of the date mute. I had committed the worst dating faux pas: I had outshone my suitor. “

All that you say about Betty Draper.. I concede is correct.. however.. What I do not understand is Don having to move out of his/their home..always the spare room…. why oh why.. does B>D> get to say move out..especially when it is she that is asking for the divorce.. It leaves me frustrated with the situation.

To your point, Karol, about the appeal to our base, innate interest in bad, mad behavior, this is what draws the viewers in: imperfection as a mirror image in aspects our lives. My parents were the first in the neighborhood to divorce. I was 12 but it was the second time, the first occuring when I was 8; my parents decided to stay together and dad slept on the couch for awhile. That scene where they tell the children was ripped from the headlines of my youth and replayed in my adult psyche. Betty is a housewife of the 60s, born and bred to please, appease and sexually tease her husband. She merely traded one male for another and as Don said, waited for a lifeboat. How could she not? She holds the cards knowing he cannot take the kids lest she spill the beans on his Dick Whittman/Don Draper persona. The coldness is typical of spouses who’ve made a decision to split. The lack of emotion enables the departing spouse to move on without experiencing sadness. It imparts them with power to enforce their decision, righteously. However, Betty’s blankness will be there whether with Don or Henry. She really traded suits. There was no interaction on the plane. Henry sat next to her engrossed in something else while Betty stared off into the future, which will likely move her from one house in the ‘burbs to another equally non-descript.

Don left Betty no recourse but to leave even though with the release of his secret identity the demons that plagued him, barred him from intimacy allowed him to see his wife, his life, his future in brighter light.

Betty is no demon; they both are to blame for the demise of the marriage. She appears vapid, emotionless, unavailable even to her kids. Is she any different than Don? No, they are mirror images of each other.

I’m not sure how you square the idea that “Don without Betty is a loser” with the last scene of the show, where Don (having just told Betty he won’t fight the divorce and wants her to have everything she ever wanted) walks out of the bedroom and finds the entire staff of SCDP busy as bees. And he smiles, and it’s the most honest, optimistic smile we’ve seen from him. He still has hope, he’s looking at the future with excitement.

While Betty is morosely sitting on a plane with her infant and a man she barely knows. I wonder if, perhaps, that is the last we see of Henry Francis. Because in the six weeks before Betty gets her divorce will she realize that marrying another man dazzled by her beauty would be a terrible mistake? Henry may have shown more interest in Betty’s mind than Don ever did, but the reason he asked her to marry him after just a few encounters is because she’s gorgeous and the archetype of the American housewife. But Betty knows that so-called ideal can be a Hell, and from her expression on the plane maybe she’s already seen herself falling into the same trap.

We know Betty isn’t stupid, and over these three seasons she’s become more assertive (and, at times, more selfish). She knows the effect she has on men, isn’t shy about using her sex appeal, and isn’t intimidated by men who show interest in her. But knowing who she is now, and what she had to do (and give up) to get there, having her become the trophy wife of another man seems a cul-de-sac I think Weiner and Co. will avoid. I don’t see them having storylines involving Betty that don’t in some way tie in with Don and/or the new firm, nor do I see Betty written off the show. How they square these problems in Season 4 will be very interesting.

There are few who follow Mad Men more closely than I do or engage on the topic with more people. My conversations indicate that yes, people do hate Betty, but not for the reasons you stated. People hate the entire Draper HOME plot line. It’s been a dull, tedious soap opera.

People became fans of the show because they like the AGENCY action. They want to see competition, debauchery, machinations, ad campaigns, one-upmanship, office trysts, burlesque clubs, social change and provocative characters. Betty provides none of that, yet she’s dominated the plot lines this season.

Mad Men degenerated into the “Housewives of Ossining Township” instead of being the Madison Avenue drama we all thought we had signed on for. I think people just projected their disdain for this season’s lame story lines onto Betty since she was at the center of it. The general consensus has been “Enough already! We get it. Now can we get back to the truly interesting aspects of this show?”

I actually think Don will be more interesting from here on out. It’s no accident that he decided not to fight for his relationship even as he dove headfirst into a fight to build a new agency. The light that came on inside of him at the idea of creating a scrappy start-up indicated that work is his only true love. Like so many men of his generation – and ours.

@CarriBugbee
(tweeting for @PeggyOlson and other Mad Men characters)

I like and dislike Betty for some of the reason mentioned above. I think she’s still a child and has a lot of growing to do.

I don’t think Don is a loser without her, but I do think the illusion he built about himself is crumbling, just like the culture he lives in is crumbling. The old ideals are breaking apart, maybe to rebuild something, if not better, than different.

But I concur with Carri, more Agency less home would be a welcome!

I think Betty is a calculating bitch. Worse, a self-deceiving, self-forgiving calculating narcissistic bitch.

Don’t forget, she already stayed in marriage with Don only when she found out she’s pregnant with a third baby. All through her marriage she was building up a security nest for herself; if anybody could be called greedy and ruthless, it’s her. Betraying those who came close to her, playing up their emotions (remember the story with her friend and the riding instructor?), including her father and her brother, self-preservation above anything and everybody, pettiness and total lack of empathy – this is what Betty is. She’s one to keep up appearances, but underneath it she’s no lady.

I don’t agree with Carry, that the “home & Betty” staff is less interesting than “Agency & work” staff. Both are signs of their time, although in some sense, are timeless. As if the surface glaze is taken off beautifully photoshopped images for advertisement pool, and we plunged into the mess of real life.

I find the series absolutely fascinating. It’s that rare beast in American cinema and theater – psychological drama (not melodrama, if that’s what she mean under “soap opera”) that I’ve been craving for 17 years away from Europe. Nuance, hint, absence of crude moralizing, taste, understatement. The only other TV series of the same level of talent was Carnivale (RIP).

People might say they “hate” the storylines set in the Draper household but let’s not forget the greatest scene we’ve seen so far on Mad Men came in Ossining, when Betty confronted Don about his past. Dick Whitman was already revealed at work and Bert Cooper issued that iconic line, “Mr. Campbell…who cares?”. Don was ready to run away with Rachel before that happened, but there’s nowhere to run when Betty barks, “Open that drawer”. He staggers to the kitchen, has a drink, and when Betty asks if he’s going to run out the door Don says, “I’m not going anywhere”.

Instead it’s Betty who’s going, to Reno, after taking the steps necessary to end the marriage. And even Don, at the end, seems to realize that. He won’t fight her. He wants her to have everything she wants. And she says, “You’ll always be their father”. Ending a marriage is hard, I’d think it was a lot harder in 1963, and harder still when you have to spend six weeks in Reno with an infant and a man you barely know.

Carri’s point that people only want to see the agency storylines reminds me of the people who only wanted to see Tony Soprano with his mob family, not his “real” family. Familiarity may breed some of that contempt–most of us HAVE families of one sort or another, but we aren’t Mafia chieftains or Madison Avenue titans so we want to see more of those exotic worlds. But would we know (or care) as much about Don without Sally, about Pete without Trudy, about Tony without Carmella? How we deal with those we love (or say we love) reveals character, which is important on a character-driven show like Mad Men.

Gene, Don might find a fulfilling work life for himself, but how will he ever be satisfied at home? Really, who can he end up with? A Rachel type would be too challenging, the teacher is too crazy, the hippie free-love girl free-loved her way to someone else, and the random, nameless girls are too nothing for a egoist like Don. Betty really is the perfect wife for him. And when things are good between them, like in Italy, they’re very, very good. Without her, he’s a drifting single guy, but with 3 kids, the kind of guy he wouldn’t respect.

And I agree that while people might say they don’t like the home plots, they’re very important to the show. Seeing the main characters behind the scenes in their own home lives gives them depth and makes you care about them. Someone like Peggy, in particular, might be hard to care about if we didn’t get a glimpse of her family life.

does anyone else think Betty is the same as Carmela? She’s money focused, half assed with her kids, always perfectly coiffed and turns a blind eye when she needs to because nothing (nothing) matters more than appearances.

Yes, the Betty/Carmella comparison is often made but I think Carmella got A LOT more sympathy than Betty does and Carmella was MUCH worse.

Agreed, Carmela could be really really vindictive, I don’t think Betty’s there. Yet.

Weiner on the marriage:

Weiner: It’s so unambiguous to me that this marriage is over, but the audience seems to cling to the idea that they should be together because we want to believe in those things. The marriage was not good. It was built on a lie and the lie was exposed. In the end, Don coming clean really damaged his relationship with her, more than the lying, her seeing who he actually was. I do believe when he says his mother was a 22-year-old prostitute that Betty is looking at something that is very far from what she had planned for herself… That was the whole story of the season. When Henry Francis (Christopher Stanley) came on to her… a switch went off in her head of what was missing in her life, which was a true, romantic attachment. In the end, that combination with her gut feeling that something wasn’t right in her marriage and finding out the truth, they don’t belong together anymore, kids or not. You’ve got to take it pretty seriously when someone’s flying to Reno to get a divorce.

“Not what she had planned for herself” is the only thing close to truth in this whole passage. [who is Weiner anyway?]

Betty planned things for herself. Don ruined her plans. Don with his shameful past turned from an asset into a liability – that’s the reason she went to Reno. Lack of romantic attachment – from Don, but as much – from Betty herself.

Last week I went to dinner with an eligible doctor. As we were finishing the main course, I struck up conversation with the owner (Marco) in Italian – I speak five languages. My date nearly choked on his linguini and spent the rest of the date mute. I had committed the worst dating faux pas: I had outshone my suitor.

If I may be permitted to suggest another interpretation of events: She assumes he’s intimidated because she can speak Italian (and he can’t). Maybe he’s annoyed because 1) she rudely struck up a conversation in a language he doesn’t understand, shutting him out and 2) she’s done it, not because the owner doesn’t speak English, but because she wants to show just how oh so intelligent and educated she is.

I’d be fantasizing about sneaking out the back as well. I wonder how she would have felt if he’d run into another doctor and spent time talking shop in medicalese.

Men I know aren’t intimidated by intelligent women, and they don’t fear being “outshone”. But rude people suck.

Tatyana, sorry, Weiner is the creator of the show.

Eric, I agree, totally, that woman sounds like a nightmare. But let me assure you women are told men don’t like it when they’re too smart, especially when they are smarter than them. And I’m sure that was doubly and triply true in Betty’s day.

[...] Alarming News writes In Defense of Betty Draper. [...]

Betty is a grown woman with a child’s emotional capacity. She’s conniving and deceitful while acting as though she’s above it all.

In short, she’s mentally unfit to be a mother or a wife. I hope the plane crashes, leaving Don & the older children safe at home.

On the other hand, I think January Jones is has done a remarkable job in this role and she seems like a very pleasant person. All the best to her.

“Who is Weiner anyway?” is the funniest line I’ve ever read on the internet.

I think a lot of the people who rip on Betty forget that many of the other characters on the show display many of the same traits. Betty is conniving and deceitful? At times…but worse than Don? Betty shows herself to be a bad parent, but while Don can be a doting father he isn’t the one who’s with the kids all day.

And let’s not forget that Betty went through a lot of trauma this season. She took her unfaithful husband back because she was pregnant. Her demented and domineering father moved in, then died. She endured a grueling childbirth. She took up a cause, had her husband treat her efforts as a trifle, and then had the powerful man she was supposed to dazzle with her beauty prove to be truly dazzled. Then she finds out that the man she married, the father of her children, was married before, was born under another name, and is the son of a whore. A bit later the President is assassinated and soon after she watches his killed murdered on live TV. I think we can give her a little leeway for being angry and confused.

The one line from Weiner that struck me was, “Don coming clean really damaged his relationship with her, more than the lying, her seeing who he actually was.” And if that’s true, that is an indictment of Betty’s character. Because she’s judging him not on who Don is, but on where he came from. It’s understandable that she would be angry and feel betrayed that he hid his past from her, but the fact that his less-than-humble origins means she wants out speaks ill of her. She was able to look past Don cheating on her and being self-absorbed and treating her like a doll and not a partner…but she couldn’t forgive a man who was ashamed of his past and wanted more than anything to leave it behind forever. Betty wanting a divorce is understandable, but wanting out only after Don bares his tortured soul is harsh.

Exactly, Gene. Many of the characters have Betty’s bad traits. But only Betty is roundly hated. Maybe it’s the whole “don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” thing.

It’s hard to argue with Weiner, obviously, but it felt very “last straw”. Like yes, she put up with the infidelity, and the lying, and the mystery but discovering that box was the end of what she could bear. And who knows, maybe with no Henry Francis she would have found she could put up with more but somewhere she would have to draw the line (learning Don is banging her daughter’s teacher might have been it too).

BTW, the Matthew Weiner interview is here:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-11-09/mad-men-laid-bare/

THANK you. I have been amazed at the amount of hateful bullshit directed at Betty for having the temerity to walk out on Don.

Don’t forget, she already stayed in marriage with Don only when she found out she’s pregnant with a third baby. All through her marriage she was building up a security nest for herself; if anybody could be called greedy and ruthless, it’s her.

Dear god. You do realize the show is set in the early 1960s? And that if Betty left her marriage in 1962, she would be alone, pregnant, socially ostracized, and quite possibly plunged into poverty? She saw what happened to Helen Bishop. Hell, you presumably saw what the lawyer in Pennsylvania told Betty when she asked about divorce.

Being afraid to abandon your only source of income is not “greedy.” It’s realistic.

I think the crux of the problem with what you’re talking about, regarding fan’s response to Betty, has to do with the gender bias of the individual viewer. Those that describe Betty as “evil” are the same dudes that watch because Don looks really “badass” in a suit with drink/smoke in hand. That seems to be the exact reverse of the position you seem to be taking – that Don is a scumbag who can’t keep is dick in his pants. There’s nothing really wrong with that response, and I think it’s a perfectly human response to the information about the characters we are given, but ulimately I think these positions rob you of a lot of the great nuances to be found in MAD MEN.

Betty is the victim. She genuinely loved Don, and was repeatedly betrayed by him. Most criticism directed at her has to do with people not really understanding the position Betty was in at the time (if you don’t understand why Betty didn’t abort Gene and leave Don in season 2, then you’re one of these people). Towards the end of season three, we started to see a different side to things. Her relationship with Henry Francis (to either the fault or the intent of the writer) seemed utterly superficial. There was no real romantic spark that we could see, beyond “you’re cute, I wanna do you” kind of thinking. When the reveal of Don’s identity (+ JFK drama) kicked her divorce desires into action, there was the subtle implication that she was leaving Don because she found out he was poor (and not the sports hero mad at his dad). I don’t think that’s why she did it, but the show suggested it, and if you weren’t already on TEAM BETTY, you certainly weren’t going to view this objectively. Plus, it was doubly hard in the last half of the finale, watching her leave her family to jump ship into an upgraded version of the exact style codependent relationship that frustrated her in the first place. I love Betty’s character, and I felt genuinely bad for her during the course of the show

Don is certianly not a victim, but calling him a loser without Betty is crazy-harsh. And I don’t think you can classify his promiscuity as “sleeping with everything that moved for the past three seasons.” He’s not Tony Soprano – who slept around simply because he could. Don has had exactly four big-time affairs, with only a single one-night stand that we’ve seen. He’s not a sex addict, he’s slept around because he’s felt like something was missing in his relationship. His affairs with Midge, Rachel and the teacher sprung up from a genuine attraction / boredom with his relationships with Betty. Don seems reluctant to just sleep with anything (We saw him reject the twin in S1, and the only reason Bobby or the Stewardess succeeded was pesistance), which doesn’t make it okay, but makes Don a lot more than a dude who can’t keep is dick in his pants.

Ultimately, Betty and Don were mismatched, and both of them new it.. Don fell in love with her partially because she’s this beautiful wasp princess, which his subconscious felt would help make the transition from poor boy Dick Whitman to powerful cool-guy Don Draper complete. Betty has always been looking for a daddy, and bought into Don’s cool guy demeanor. They both genuinely loved each other, in spite of glaring reasons not to be, but Betty stopped loving Don in s2 when she kicked him out. She tried to make it work again, but when she found out Don’s cool guy demeanor was a lie too, it all seemed kind of pointless. Ultimately, Don’s looking for a more independent woman than Betty – someone who can keep his wayward hobo spirit happy as he trudges through the day-to-day – where as Betty is looking for someone more perfect than Don.

It’s nice to be called “Dear god” (even if, to be anatomically correct, it should be “goddess” and even though I’m an atheist).

Not only I am aware, yes, about the time period of the show, *killjoy (what an appropriate name!) – I was already out of the oven at the time, unlike you. And I know, personally, what it means to stay in lackluster marriage for the sake of the children. But that’s not Betty’s reason – she’s a cold and distant mother, one that doesn’t understand her older daughter (remember Barbi episode), she can care less about the children. Her ideal life would be the Rome episode run eternal – childless, drifting from one glamorous party to another, center of male admiration (even if it’s a cheap and vulgar one).
In all times there were women who lived according to principles, women of independent and proud streak – and opportunistic and calculating women who changed allegiances like pairs of gloves, if it was bringing them material wealth. This second type is what natural-born prostitutes are made of. This latter type woman is always calculating, she wouldn’t marry for love – oh, she would call it thus, but you just wait till her spouse’ promotion gets late, or his less than stellar past is discovered, or he’s suddenly disabled. You could recognize these women by the length they always talk about their man being a “good provider”.
So, *killjoy – what was it so bad that happened to Helen Bishop? She was left to mind her own business, tend for herself, provide for her own bills, sleep with men whom she found attractive – not out of “spousal duty”. Yeah, her income plunged, but she became a responsible adult.

Somebody said above that Betty is still a child – exactly: she demands that somebody “takes care of her”. When her father became sick and was no longer able to give her the attention she’s used to as “daddy’s girl” – she became downright agitated against him. Those scenes with her ailing father were almost King Lear-ish.

As to her dependency – whose fault is that? She has no useful profession besides ability to smile into camera while wearing dresses somebody else designed. Her Italian is good for communicating with waiters, but I doubt she could work as interpreter. She is not a good cook or a housekeeper – Carla is doing it all instead of her. She exists for admiration, like a decorative trophy. Useless.

Even within the series, there are many examples of women who worked for their independence. In 1960s. But that was not for Betty – hers is the easy way out – thru leeching on men.

Mean Gene: glad I made you laugh.
I’m sure you think Weiner is the name everybody MUST know!

Not only I am aware, yes, about the time period of the show, *killjoy (what an appropriate name!) – I was already out of the oven at the time, unlike you.

So you’re middle-aged and ignorant. Good for you.

In all times there were women who lived according to principles, women of independent and proud streak

Yes, yes, I get it, you think you’re the most awesome awesome who ever awesomed and you’re letting the world know with pseudo-lyrical verbal wanking that sounds a hell of a lot like Ayn Rand. Yawn.

I was going to write more about this but I’m realizing I should save the effort, since all you’ll do in response is spout off misogynistic bullshit, and you seem capable of doing that without my help.

Betty opened a Pandora’s box…lots of plot lines for seasons to come. Can’t wait.

*killjoy, do you even know the meaning of the word misogynistic? I think not.

I have to ask. Do you have any useful profession yourself, *killjoy? Apart from degree in English literature and/or Gender Studies, I mean.

And do you have a sugar daddy who takes care of you? or a man-boy husband with a trust fund…no, you sound more like a Perpetual Girlfriend. I can just see you coming into your “middle age” -looking like a baked apple in your 40s, desperately clutching to disappearing cuteness, one of those “ex-Mrs.Trumps”, no longer amusing, not understanding why your manipulating of men is not working anymore… Poor, poor killjoy. She is a VICTIM!

Tatyana, sorry, Weiner is the creator of the show.

Karol, what’s to be sorry about? Weiner being a creator of the show (I guess this means he’s the one who wrote the script? Hope so) doesn’t change my opinion of the paragraph you sited.

And guys, it’s arguing about a TV show. Let’s be civil, eh?

I honestly don’t care how Don’s life will turn out without Betty in his life. After three seasons, I have come to realize that I simply don’t care about Don. He’s still an interesting character. I just don’t like him.

How will Betty’s life turn out, post-Draper marriage? I don’t know. I refuse to be assume that she will become Henry’s trophy wife. And I refuse to assume that she will immediately dump him. I don’t know.

Also, Betty is not some one-dimensional block of ice, like many assume she is. Well, let me put it this way . . . I don’t look at her blond looks and priviledged background and demand that she be the perfect mother, the perfect wife or the perfect emancipated woman.

As much as I dislike Don, I refuse to view him as some one-dimensional character, like many do Betty or someone like Duck Phillips. Even I am aware that he is a very complex person. I can also say the same about Betty. But whereas I dislike Don, I like Betty. I cannot help it. That is how I feel. I just can’t slap a few easy labels on their characters and pretend that is all one needs to know about them.

I find it ludicrous that so many fans had expected Betty to immediately become this “independent” woman after her marriage to Don had ended. Are these fans living in a dream world, or what?

It didn’t take Mona Sterling very long to find another man in her life. Yet, no one complained. We last saw Duck Phillips’ ex-wife getting ready to remarry back in mid-Season 2. Even Helen Bishop had become involved in another man after her divorce. Betty becomes involved with Henry Francis and everyone is called her a child and a “Daddy’s girl”. I keep forgetting that hypocrisy is one of the main traits of humanity.

Lee, before you slap a “hypocrisy” label on us, please reread arguments: nobody called Betty a “Daddy’s girl” because she found another man. She and Mona are complete opposites in their attitude towards their occupation. That being of a homemaker and a caregiver to husband and children.

And about that “hypocrisy” thing: are you sure it’s what we are? Do you know for a fact that what we preach is completely opposite to what we practice? Because that’s the meanaing of the word. Srsly.

Beautifully written Karol…echos my thoughts exactly.

“Don has had exactly four big-time affairs, with only a single one-night stand that we’ve seen. He’s not a sex addict, he’s slept around because he’s felt like something was missing in his relationship. His affairs with Midge, Rachel and the teacher sprung up from a genuine attraction / boredom with his relationships with Betty. Don seems reluctant to just sleep with anything (We saw him reject the twin in S1, and the only reason Bobby or the Stewardess succeeded was pesistance), which doesn’t make it okay, but makes Don a lot more than a dude who can’t keep is dick in his pants.”

The show may have shown him in an affair with four (or five) women – Midge Daniels, Rachel Mencken, Bobbie Barrett, the Pan Am stewardess (maybe) and Suzanne Farrell; but Don has slept with other women. This had been hinted in the S2 episode, (2.06) “Maidenform”, when Bobbie Barrett revealed her knowledge of Don’s reputation with women. And she had learned of this reputation from a woman who had not been featured in the series – someone from a publishing company. Judging from Don’s reaction to Bobbie’s revelation, it seemed he is the type who can’t keep his dick in his pants.

Lee, before you slap a “hypocrisy” label on us, please reread arguments: nobody called Betty a “Daddy’s girl” because she found another man. She and Mona are complete opposites in their attitude towards their occupation. That being of a homemaker and a caregiver to husband and children.

Betty Draper is not some orge with her kids. She is a typical, upper scale homemaker from the 1950s and 60s who believe that children should seen, and not heard. She may not be the type who overindulge her children – the way many parents seemed to do today – but she doesn’t ignore them on the same scale as Don. And as she had put it herself – she had a rough year.

The season opened with her in the last stages of her pregnancy. Instead of taking into account that this might affect her attitude, many fans bitched about her being another Joan Crawford. Her father died. Many fans bitched about her not consoling Sally, completely ignoring the fact that Betty had to deal with the death of a parent. Even worse, hardly anyone complained that Don had ignored Sally. Then Betty gave birth in a situation that could only be described as nightmarish. Following Baby Gene’s birth, Betty probably had to endure a period of post-natal depression – something that no one had considered. During this period, she realized that she hated her life in Ossing. Instead of realizing that she had a good reason to feel this way, many fans bitched that she didn’t bother to continue the fantasy that she and Don had engaged in Rome.

Betty almost drifted into an affair with Henry Francis. But when she decided not to do so, many fans bitched at her for not having the affair by accusing her of being shallow and childish. Yet, they had failed to hurl such accusations at Don, when he began his affair with Suzanne Farrell. They were disappointed in the affair, but they didn’t regard him with any hostility. Then Betty discovered that her husband of ten years was a fake. He had a fake name that he had stolen from an officer killed in Korea in order to desert from the Army. Not only was Don a deserter, but he was guilty of impersonating an officer. He was the son of a poor farmer and a prostitute, who was guilty of identity theft. And he had been taking care of said officer’s widow behind Betty’s back. At first, Betty tried to forgive Don for the lies. But following JFK’s assassination and the realization that it was useless to pretend that life had not changed, she had enough and decided to divorce him. She also decided to pursue a relationship with Henry Francis.

Now, many fans are now criticizing Betty for turning to Henry in her time of need, instead of striking out as an “independent” divorcee. Apparently, they seemed to have forgotten a few things:

*This latest season of “MAD MEN” was set in 1963 and not post-1970.

*The show has only confirmed that Betty has inherited half of a house. It has not confirmed if she had inherited any money from her late father.

*The series’ other divorcees have also quickly entered into relationships with other men, following their divorces.

*NO ONE knows whether Betty will immediately marry Henry or not.

*NO ONE knows whether Betty will accept Henry’s advice to reject a divorce settlement.

Instead, the fans are . . . once again . . . calling her shallow and childish, because they are assuming that she will immediately marry Henry and reject a divorce settlement. Why? Because Betty Draper does not live up to their IDEAL of a homemaker and caregiver. And because Betty also does not live up to their ideal of what an early 21st century woman should be . . . despite the fact that her character is a mid-20th century woman. For some reason, fans want Betty to be an ideal SOMETHING – whether it is a homemaker or an independent and professional woman. Fans want Betty to be an ideal character of some kind, instead of accepting the fact that she is a flawed character, like the others on the show. Why? I do not know. But I do know that I am finding this mindset regarding Betty to be increasingly irritating and hypocritical.

As to her dependency – whose fault is that? She has no useful profession besides ability to smile into camera while wearing dresses somebody else designed. Her Italian is good for communicating with waiters, but I doubt she could work as interpreter. She is not a good cook or a housekeeper – Carla is doing it all instead of her. She exists for admiration, like a decorative trophy. Useless.

Even within the series, there are many examples of women who worked for their independence. In 1960s. But that was not for Betty – hers is the easy way out – thru leeching on men.

Hmmmm . . . I smell class bigotry in the above words. Is this why so many fans are hostile toward Betty? Because she comes from a priviledged background and has not broken out of her class and gender expectations in 1963?

I’ve loved Betty from the first season of this show. She is flawed, but she’s the perfect example of why somebody like Betty Freidan was necessary. She has worked so hard and done everything just the right way through most of her youth- it made her miserable. She tried to adjust within the little bit of wiggle room she had; she tried to model again, Don sabotaged it. She tried to assert herself with Don, he doesn’t really respond. She’s navigating her way through territory that’s totally new, and given her background, must be terrifying. I’m excited to see what’s next for her.
As for the complaints about the Draper home storyline, I think it’s a VERY important part of what all the change, trauma, and tumult of the 60s were about. Which is a lot of what the show is about.
Don and Betty are mirror images of each other, they represent their time’s rigid gender identities. And they don’t fit times that are changing. They are both interesting and compelling.
I think Betty “pushes people’s buttons” because women haven’t come as far as we think we have. There’s a little self-hate in all the Betty-hating.

The one line from Weiner that struck me was, “Don coming clean really damaged his relationship with her, more than the lying, her seeing who he actually was.” And if that’s true, that is an indictment of Betty’s character. Because she’s judging him not on who Don is, but on where he came from. It’s understandable that she would be angry and feel betrayed that he hid his past from her, but the fact that his less-than-humble origins means she wants out speaks ill of her. She was able to look past Don cheating on her and being self-absorbed and treating her like a doll and not a partner…but she couldn’t forgive a man who was ashamed of his past and wanted more than anything to leave it behind forever. Betty wanting a divorce is understandable, but wanting out only after Don bares his tortured soul is harsh.

I no longer have any respect for Matt Weiner. This is his idea of characterization??? He has Betty Draper go through all of this crap during her marriage to Don . . . and then he tells us that she dumped him because she learned that he was the son of a whore – something that he had failed to verify in any of the episodes??

What the hell is this crap?? I don’t see why I should bother to continue to watch this show, if its creator is going to insult the viewers’ intelligence with comments like that.

[...] com o Matt Weiner Em defesa de Betty Tudo que Don Draper disse na terceira temporada REVIEWS TV FODDER ALAN SEPINWALL ZAP 2 IT LA TIMES [...]

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by stacyqc, Karol. Karol said: "Finally, let’s face it, a Don without a Betty is a loser." I called it back in 11/09: http://bit.ly/99VKsl #madmen [...]

[...] in November of 2009, I wrote a defense of Betty Draper. My last paragraph: Finally, let’s face it, a Don without a Betty is a loser. He’s a Roger [...]

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[I]“I no longer have any respect for Matt Weiner. This is his idea of characterization??? He has Betty Draper go through all of this crap during her marriage to Don . . . and then he tells us that she dumped him because she learned that he was the son of a whore – something that he had failed to verify in any of the episodes??

What the hell is this crap?? I don’t see why I should bother to continue to watch this show, if its creator is going to insult the viewers’ intelligence with comments like that.”[/I]

You dont get it at all.

Weiner’s quote illustrates Betty’s flawed character perfectly.

You Rosie, should not continue to watch the show, seeing as though you’re so clueless.

The reasons that you listed above are not the reasons that I dislike Betty so much.

I dislike her because she is entitled and selfish and expects everyone else to do things to make her happy. Everyone else in the show works for what they want. Don Draper…love him or hate him, you have to respect the way that he has pulled himself up to accomplish all that he has. Peggy Olsen worked hard to become a copyright. Joan is good at managing people both in her professional and personal lives. When her marriage didn’t end up quite like she thought that it would, she dug in and made it the best she could.

Betty is the only person who really blames everyone else for her lot in life (when she has so very much) and complains complains complains complains. She will never be happy because she’s never had to earn anything. Everything that she has was given to her because she was born beautiful, wealthy and white and it makes her very hard to like. Her character is a necessary evil.