Alarming News

October 30, 2006

Sit down

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe call it quits.

Posted by Karol at 02:47 PM |
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my faith in humanity is permanently shot. the only celebrity juggarnaut couple left is tom hanks and rita wilson, and i was never sexually attracted to them. sigh. i plan on watching cruel intentions on repeat throughout the night. please give me space to grieve. thank you.

Posted by: E.E. Grimshaw at October 30, 2006 at 2:56 pm

Hmm, I wonder if they’ll go through that post relationship phase with casual threesomes? A man could only hope.

Posted by: toby at October 30, 2006 at 3:24 pm

Okay, when I read this I was actually upset! They are such a cute couple and I actually thought they were “normal.” Guess it goes to show no one is normal in Hollywood!

Posted by: Morgan at October 30, 2006 at 3:56 pm

Stunned…dismayed…bereft…

Posted by: Esther Kustanowitz at October 30, 2006 at 4:54 pm

In a related story, Ryan Phillipe was wondering if you had any spare change.

Posted by: Gib at October 30, 2006 at 5:00 pm

let’s all pray that little ava doesn’t turn into a cokehead.

Posted by: pn at October 30, 2006 at 5:13 pm

Sounds like he was screwing around on her.

Posted by: jay at October 30, 2006 at 6:07 pm

Howard Stern’s prescience in foreseeing doomed marriages is vindicated yet again.

Posted by: Gerard at October 30, 2006 at 8:08 pm

I don’t think $2MM a picture and a role in Flags of our Fathers is the profile of a guy who is in need of welfare. But a guy who just lost Reese Witherspoon still deserves your pity.

Posted by: Charles at October 31, 2006 at 1:46 pm

Yep, he’s been fucking around on her with an Abbie Cornis. Apparantly, he has not been discreet about it. I hope she tells the kids the truth in that, “daddy rather spend time with his bimbo than with you.”

Posted by: jay at November 1, 2006 at 8:05 am

Well, at least Kurt Russel and Goldie Hawn are still together.

Posted by: Shawn at November 1, 2006 at 9:58 pm
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